Month: February 2016

Today’s mantra was I am grateful. I am grateful to be able to do yoga. On a very basic level I am grateful to have a body that has the ability to do the yoga I am trying to do and to manifest my dreams. I have the dream to be able to do more yoga and that starts at a very essential level with having a body that is capable. I couldn’t really think of any other mantras that resonated with me. I am grateful for a lot of things, things which I’ve already written about here, but the mantra I took with me today was a very basic one. But I think it’s important to be aware, on a very fundamental level, of what we are grateful for.

Today’s mantra was I celebrate. I couldn’t really think of a mantra for this day. I had a lot on my mind and while her suggestions for mantras were great and meaningful I couldn’t find one that resonated or touched a chord. Yoga Camp is almost done and I’m trying to think of things to do for my home yoga practice when it’s over.

Today’s mantra was I love. I love myself. I love that I made time for myself. I know that the two of those are quite closely related, but I think it’s an important distinction that can get lost. Doing things to show yourself self-love is important too. It’s not just about the theory of loving yourself, it’s also about taking care of yourself. Self care.

Today’s mantra, and the last one, was all about you. You were able to choose your own mantra, as well as your own practice. There was still a video with a routine, but you were encouraged to use that just as a reference, and to focus on what your body was telling you. I used it more or less as a guide and spent more time in the poses which felt good to me. As for a mantra, I wanted to choose I am focused, but my focus was not present at all, so it didn’t seem like a good mantra. Yoga is a mental practice as well as physical, and my lack of mantra made it hard to focus and slow down. I think this was the best day for me to learn this, because it reminds me for my future practice, to remain mindful, present, and focused on an idea for mental change as well. So perhaps I will think of the mantras each day as I continue my own practice.

We got a day this year! All those years of waiting and finally we have an extra day, it’s almost like having more time (because that’s what it is right?) but it feels, to me, almost like an extra gift.

What will you do with your extra day? Will it be a work catch up day? A day extra to spend on and with yourself? Is it a day for loved ones?

If this truly was a gift of a day, what would you do with your gift?

Today’s mantra was I am secure. So I am secure with myself. That’s the only mantra I could come up with. It isn’t the most profound and I don’t even have that much to say about it. It didn’t deeply resonate with me like some of the other mantras. If anything, it just told me to be more secure or at peace with myself and who I am. To stand firmly on the belief that I am the best authority on myself. To hold true to the fact that I need to be my best and strongest advocate.

Today’s mantra was I am in control. I am in control of my feelings. Today’s practice was phenomenal. I was rock solid, I did my poses and I felt fantastic. Maybe it’s part of the let down of having the semester be over, maybe not, no idea, but it was great. The practice itself was strong and I felt energized and relaxed afterward. I wish I could feel like that every day and hold onto that feeling…which filters into the mantra. I am in control of my breathing. I can make the practices in the future more energizing by holding on to my breath. In addition, the mantra I choose for myself was I am in control of my feelings. A lot of the time I feel a bit more passive about it, that something someone has said has made me upset, made. But I have a part in it as well. I’m not saying that I have the possibility to completely walk it off and shed negative comments or hurtful feelings. But I have more control than nothing and it’s time to be behind that control. I am in control of when I do things that make me happy, of balancing my work. There are things that I can control to make my feelings better.

Today’s mantra was I am strong. And I felt it. It was a good practice and just telling myself over and over again, I am strong, felt affirming and powerful. It’s always such a great reminder to remind yourself and tell yourself that you are strong, or beautiful, or empowered.

Today’s mantra was I attract. I attract strength. That is what I chose my mantra to be because I want to attract and get stronger. I am focused now on doing yoga and exercising. Not so much on drastically trying to change my diet or what not. But focusing on doing things that will make me feel strong. It isn’t always just physical strength either. It is also feeling strong (to me this includes self confidence as well). So that is not only my mantra, but also my goal. 5 days left!

Being a very goal oriented person is very good for doing tasks and being efficient. Yet it seems to me that there is a growing pressure on people to be motivated and do things (find a job, be happy, etc). There are tons of inspirational quotes and videos on how to be motivated/stay motivated and accomplish your goals. I was even thinking about making a life map to outline my goals and how I could get there.

Which would be great if I knew what they were. Because I don’t, I felt really lazy and ashamed. I wanted to be motivated and I wanted to ‘find my goal’ but it wasn’t happening. Every morning I would wake up and think I want to change my life, to be the best me, and to achieve my goals every day. But I don’t know what my goals were. When trying to think of the goals I couldn’t come up with any that were long term, such as landing my dream job at this company or my dream profession. There were ones I had for the next months and what not: learning German, writing and researching my thesis. But no broader life goals.

But I can’t push it. I cannot push myself to have these goals and realize them, because I can’t be somewhere I am not. I am not at the point in the my life where I know what those goals even are and no matter how many motivational videos I watch or quotes I read, there are just times when it won’t happen.

It won’t happen because I haven’t had the experience where I find my calling, or the life experience, or the job experience. There is a beauty in taking time and growing at your own pace that is not respected or valued. I am to blame as well for trying to inorganically push myself to a state where I cannot be.

There needs to be moments where I am lost and think, what now, or moments where I have no clue. These are important to the growth process as well. In these moments of stillness do we get a sense of who we are too. They are productive as well, even for their lack of productivity. What makes you happy at the end of the day when you have time? They do serve a purpose.

And even if they don’t, that should be okay too. I am guilty of pushing myself all the time, but I want to relax, and be in the moment. The moment now where I don’t know what I want to do, and while it is uncertain and anxious, it’s where I am.

The yoga camp daily posts are getting a bit short, but also dragging on a little, so I decided to try to speed it up. I wanted to spend this week and combine three days into one post. As you may have observed, the daily yoga camp posts vary in length depending on how that day has impacted me and what not. So hopefully you have enjoyed these posts!

Today’s mantra was I am worthy. What a huge one. There were many ways to modify the mantra like I am worthy of something. So I took it two ways: I am worthy and I am worthy of forgiveness. The first, I am worthy, is pretty explanatory. But it makes such a huge difference to spend twenty-thirty minutes thinking about it and repeating it to yourself. If I could recommend any yoga video for the mantra (not necessarily the yoga) I would recommend this one. Or to just take 20-30 minutes and stretch, but to think consistently I am worthy. It makes such a big difference in your self confidence, but also how you feel about yourself immediately after. I felt much better, it’s almost like looking into the mirror and telling your reflection “I am worthy of love”. That would be an interesting follow up to this post. The second mantra just came to me out of the blue, I am worthy of forgiveness. It isn’t anything that inspired it at all, but it just seemed to resonate with me. When I do something bad or feel guilty about something, it’s hard for me to forgive myself. It’s usually easier for someone to forgive me, but it’s tremendously hard for me to forgive myself for my mistakes. So it was one of the mantras that I took off the mat and pushed in my brain to reflect on. I make mistakes, and because of that, I am still worthy of forgiveness, even more so from myself. There is, at the end of the day, only me. I live with myself the most and that relationship is the most important to me.

Today’s mantra was I believe. I believe in myself. That mantra was the only one that I could think of (besides having a song that begins with I believe in miracles stuck in my head the entire thirty minutes). But it’s so important and it resonates with yesterday’s practice I am worthy. But I realized that a lot of anxiety and stress can resonate from not believing in myself, my worth, my potential, my beauty, my strength. So I believe in myself. If everything falls away I want that to remain as a foundation: I believe in myself. I believe I can handle obstacles. I believe I am beautiful and worthy to be around. I believe I am strong and have the potential to do things. Even if these mantras and days of yoga do not end up changing my mindset immediately, the process, ideas, and changes have begun. I also intend on returning back to this 30 day yoga camp and mantra every so often throughout the year to continue that change and modify it, to see where I am.

Today’s Mantra is I surround myself. I surround myself with positivity. That is the mantra I decided to choose. I think I can be quite a negative thinker, always thinking of the worst outcome and having a hard time to be positive. So hopefully this mantra will help me have and maintain a more positive, carefree attitude. I want to surround myself with positive energy so that I can learn and try to be more positive too.

I don’t have many rituals. I brush my teeth at night, take my vitamins, etc. But there aren’t very many rituals besides that. I don’t also have a lot of traditions either. So what does the word ritual mean to me?

For me, what’s been on my mind recently, is a ritual of self-love. A practice or series of actions that I do every day to show myself love and care. This comprises of normal things like vitamins and teeth (to promote a healthy body), but also things like reading every day, yoga/exercise. Doing yoga and exercise are things that are important to my stress levels and body health. Reading is some me time that is special and for fun.

Now that I am in the process of thinking about my thesis and what not, I am my own boss and it’s easier for me to set my own schedule. I can choose, better than before, how much time I devote to myself and to my work (to finding a perfect balance). What is important to me, and more so as I grow older, is finding inner fulfillment and love for myself.

So if I had to pick a ritual that meant the most to me, it would be a self-care ritual that is designed to taking care of me, my body, my health, and my sanity. It’s pretty essential to doing anything else, but there’s the tendency I have to forget about it. And it’s especially important to follow along and find the time for myself no matter what happens.

Today’s mantra was I surrender.

It was a very relaxing practice and I enjoyed it a lot. Doing yoga again alone was a nice break and it was a good way to get connected to my mantra. I chose to surrender to the practice and to relax into all my feelings and poses.

Today’s mantra was I respect. I choose to respect my time.

I choose to respect my time meant to me that I choose to respect my time on the mat and trust the process. I chose to be present on the mat, to try my best. The mantra works for so many other things. I respect my body. I respect my body’s health and want to continue my yoga practice to the best of my ability. I respect my health by exercising and eating home cooked yummy meals. I respect my time by giving myself the free time to have fun, to have a balanced life. These are the various ways I brought my mantra to my life and my practice.

Today’s mantra was I enjoy.

And I really did enjoy the practice, it was a nice break from a challenge. I did enjoy the practice and it brings the whole yoga camp back to where it should be – on enjoying. I choose to enjoy the practice with an open heart. I want to choose to enjoy the exercise and do things that are good for me. I don’t want to do the exercise just for health reasons alone, I want to choose to enjoy this practice and time for myself and my happiness.

Today’s mantra was I am focused.

Today was the first day we did yoga together, and while that impacted my focus a little (to share the mat and what not) it was a good reminder of the progress I have made. I am more aware of my body and can better tell other people what to do or how to realign their body so that they can do the moves better. It was also a reminder that everyone is at different stages and what makes the videos so good is that she offers modifications for each level. So perhaps it made me enjoy the videos more and appreciate them.

I was watching a youtube video where Hank Green shared his experiences with monogamy. A piece of advice he offered on monogamy is to fight back against the tendency to assume you know what the other person thinks (especially the longer you’ve been in a relationship). The more time you spend with someone, the more you know their routines and opinions. But people can continue to surprise you and we shouldn’t assume we know what they feel.

This really resonated with me because I feel a lot that I make this mistake and assume that the other person feels a certain way. At the same time, I feel like this mistake is made towards me as well. Which is the problem. But it also means that two people can come together to find a solution. A shouting match of “I know you…” “You don’t know how I feel” is not productive. I am a big fan of spending some not speaking about something, in order to collect thoughts and figure out exactly what I feel. So this solution feels the best for me. I enjoy taking a little time between to sort out my feelings.

The importance is to be self aware of our selves and what we’re doing. It’s similar to how I felt about my anger checklist. I can have the tendency to initially blame other people (in a period that last for a small window). So becoming more self aware is a good idea for me I think. How to become self aware? I think that the key, for me, is to take a step back. I need a moment to reflect. What’s more important is that the moment I step back is one of inaction and pondering.

So strategy for the future? Check.

Today’s mantra was I go with the flow.

I think this was the hardest day so far. First off, going with the flow has got to the be the one mantra that is the opposite of who I am. I wish I was more go with the flow, but I am not. I am not sure if I can ever do that, maybe relax more (which I think I have done). Today meant more about going with the breath and the relaxation. So that I could do. But today was the hardest to keep focus and to do the physical practice. I felt I couldn’t take my time and couldn’t do the moves. It was very frustrating and a struggle just to finish today’s practice. I as well forget to exhale and breath when doing  yoga, so finding my breath is really hard if I don’t have total control and concentration.

Today’s mantra was I am open.

So our practice included lots of twists and other movements to open our heart. It was a very challenging practice (as balance isn’t as good as it used to be). I tried using a prop, a stack of books, and it helped tremendously for my hand to be about 3/4 inches higher than before. So that was a welcome addition and surprise! Halfway done now and feeling so great. I love this routine!