Month: September 2017

I enjoy my commute. It’s long. Don’t I know it. I get up at 6:30 and don’t come home until shortly past 8pm. So my day is over 12 hours away from home and around. Of that time, I spend at least 4-5 hours commuting.

I wake up at 6:30 leave for the train at 7:30 and then get into work around 9:30 where I get to have a few moments to myself before work actually begins. During this time I read my ebook or real book on the train into the city. Then I listen to an audiobook during the crowded subway times. Then for my relatively not crowded subway I’m back to the ebook. Outside of the subway, I have a ten minute walk to work where I either talk on the phone or listen to my audiobook.

The routine is almost the same for the way home except I don’t normally listen to anything on the way to the subway or to the subway because I usually walk with people.

There’s a little quick update about how it is to be me three days a week

I have become even more German than I thought. Despising late trains, late people, being unsettled by air conditioners, about the environment and people’s disregard for it, walking against red.

The list could go on and on. But I feel almost like a foreigner again. Knowing I left my home and underwent some giant changes, changes that changed me. I have come back, but I’m not the same at all. I’m different and I see the light of day differently.

I know I can do more. Know I can rise to the occasion, challenge myself, do more than I ever thought. So in some ways, being here feels almost uncomfortable. I got used to my outstretched wings.

And now I learn again how to stretch them. To find the space to be. To find the space to learn who I am and what I want to do. How to make my heart sing. Soar.

But anything but remain complacent. Each day I push myself to do more, to try more, to go out of my comfort zone. To take every opportunity and work harder than before.

The biggest and scariest question will just be if what I do makes any difference.

I know I’ve been even more absent than I promised. But I’m back in NY now and until at least Jan 2018. I haven’t been able to update people really, it’s been a whole sort of whirl wind and my life, as you all know, has been so much in the air.

It’s still in the air, so much so. But for now, I’m looking for jobs and doing an internship at a Publishing House in NYC. So while it gives me a step in some direction, where it’s going, when, or anything is just unknown still.
While I’m glad I’m moving in some direction, there’s still this unsettling lack of certainty and movement.

It’s hard being here in some ways and easy in others. Hard because of separation, but also old habits. Easy in terms of comfort. But everything has its ups and downs. Right now I just have to take things a day at a time.

I should know better than to assure people there will be posts. We all know how well that worked out before, so all I will assure is that I’ll try each week to come up with something.