I just recently rewatched the Miracle movie and it reminded me of the power of believing in something bigger than oneself.
It’s important to have something you can believe in. It’s hard to always believe only in yourself, and I have moments where I don’t believe in myself. But it helps to have something bigger to believe in, a sense of purpose.
I really lost that in the move, I had spent years focusing on a sense of purpose and believing my work made a difference and when I moved, it just disappeared. I didn’t do any activism, I left a community where I felt I had a purpose, and left my friends.
I was totally lost. While I still haven’t necessarily found a purpose yet, I’m working towards rebuilding that sense of self.
It was an essential building block of myself, and it’s quite sad it was gone. I’m not sure how I can bring it back. I wish I had a better plan.
My plan as of now it to find an opportunity where I can participate or volunteer, or feel as if I have a use in that sense. It’ll be hard and as of now I have no idea how to do this, but it will bring it back.
Or maybe after my studies, I find it somewhere else, hopefully with my career, although that is a major can of worms I can’t get into right now.
My point is, everyone needs a sense of being part of something, I think. And that’s what’s so dangerous, when you’re lost you can glom onto something else, some other cause, and it can be the wrong one, but you relish that sense of community and common purpose. I get that feeling. I think I’ve been deeply unhappy at not having that purpose, losing it, and quite lost.
While I’m not there yet, I’m trying.