Sometimes I think I take my life too seriously. I hear about people who do things during the weekend, and I think, why can’t I? Is it because I spent the week working myself up into a flurry, feeling guilty for not doing more work, then doing the work and spending the weekend relaxing from the anxiety of the week? Maybe.
I was actually asked today if I actually study. Yes, by another student as well. And while her answer was no, mine was, ‘well actually yes’.
I’m not sure I ever had one of those crazy college experiences. Well I can tell you I definitely didn’t, especially in the conventional sense. Additionally, now I don’t either.
Am I burnt out? Probably, well, actually most definitely. All of this is quite awkward, being as I can’t actually be burnt out because I am still in school. So it’s somewhat of a tug of war between me and my inner sloth.
What would I do if I didn’t study? Have fun? Preposterous.
Lately I’ve been trying to do better, to go eat with friends more, to host more things, to do more activities, to rouse my inner lazy sloth (I have many sloth personas). Wednesday night, the end of my work week most weeks, does not meet going to a bar that night or go dancing. It means going to Zumba and then sleeping because I try to make Thursday as productive as possible. Thursday and Sunday are really productive days usually for me. But usually I don’t need more than that for the weekend. I can get my work done, well actually in one day if I push, but two in a more comfortable style. Last weekend I did all my work on Sunday I needed to do while not doing work till after lunch. And then Monday I just did work to get ahead, because I am always planning ahead.
What does this tell you about me? That I’m a planning freak who works too much and doesn’t know how to have fun? Perhaps. I realize that to the modern day society where efficiency is the rage all of these qualities are good and disciplined, but what about the society that privileges the carpe diem, YOLO, lifestyle? Whatever happens will happen.
I’m trying to let loose (a little).