Hair

I was recently watching a woman who suffers from Trichotillomania. I watch her youtube channel and started thinking about my own experiences. [By the way, just figuring out how to make these links makes me really happy and proud of myself!] I recently pulled out someone’s hair, who doesn’t have Trich (which is the abbreviation Rebecca uses) and we did that for a moment or two, to each other. And then I thought about her and how upsetting it would be for anyone who suffers from Trich. She recently spoke up about a scene from the Doctor Who television show, which I love, where he pulls out a hair and how it was a trigger (something that, as the word suggests, triggers someone). This is just some background for a thought I was having today about my own hair.

I was thinking it’s so long that I don’t like washing it sometimes because it’s so heavy. And it is long now! It’s at least halfway down my back. And I do love it, I think it looks beautiful and I love that I can braid it. But I felt incredibly guilty for thinking this because for those who suffer they might wish they had long hair or not be triggered, etc. It made me think about how I should just be thankful of what I have. I have spent a long time trying to grow my hair out. I want to be more respectful.

But it made me just think about all the things I have that might trigger, or upset, others. Not in a “People are going to be upset I dress like…look like”, but I mean in the sense of Trich. I don’t really know how to better explain it than that. It made me try to be more empathetic and love myself more. It makes me appreciate what I have, in a simple way. I know it’s such an old saying, to appreciate what you have, to be grateful, and I think, I thought I understood that. I have a roof over my head, I have wonderful parents, I have great friends, I have a fantastic partner, I can go buy food everyday (as is the custom here), I have electricity to boil some wonderful fruit tea, I have long black hair, and the list can go on forever. There’s so much I am thankful in my life.

To a large extent I always knew this, having been adopted and visiting the orphanage. So I knew that I was grateful and thankful for being able to have the opportunities I have had. But this puts the wonderfully small little things into perspective.