For the most part, I feel as if I don’t have a clear purpose now. I’m not talking about a grand purpose like changing the world or curing the world of something, but any purpose.
I’m in a lingo state where I’m not sure where I’ve landed, where to go from now on, and what will guide my compass. What will be the guiding force and purpose in my life? That’s something I think about a lot.
When I was in university it used to have to deal with sweatshops and feminism, and now I’m not sure. I’m not content to have my life purpose revolve only around someone else.
But I want to feel like I have a purpose again. Something where I get up and think, that’s what this is for. Even if it’s long and, sometimes, hopeless, just a guiding force.
But I guess that’s also a part of growing up, figuring that out. Finding the path my feet should be on. Knowing what makes my heart sing, what I can’t live without doing. I want to be useful. I want the things I do to matter to others, to make a difference. I don’t want my actions to just for me. So in that sense, I do have a vague idea of where I’m going, I just want to narrow that down a little.
I don’t really have that many things to say in this, but just a general feeling of purposeless. But I am trying to slowly integrate more things into my life that might give my life a direction. When I get a job, I think this will settle down a little, but until then, I want to move towards finding a purpose, like the activism I did in college.
It’s hard to get back into the groove and to motivate myself sometimes, but I know I will find my way. I just need to tell myself that everyday and give myself the time and room to find the path.