Credit to Othello.
I don’t know how many people are familiar with Othello, but it’s a line from the play from Othello demanding proof of his wife, Desdomona’s infidelity. He suspects it, and so when they give him her handkerchief he believes them. He believes them because he suspects it and see it.
Seeing is believing for Othello.
And it got me thinking about the times when we suspect something and only see it.
I talked in a previous post about betrayal, and sometimes people look for it. They suspect it and so they see it. You expect to get hurt, to be left, to be lied to, and then you see it. I’m not saying they don’t exist, but without second guessing, our suspicions are confirmed. And the sad part is they confirm that reality for us. Because we ‘see’ it we are more likely to expect it in the future.
If we are stuck in that loop, how do we escape?
Do we expect nothing? Approach everything with a blank slate? I don’t think I can and I haven’t even lived that long! It’s hard to pretend you don’t have those expectations, fears, and pain. How do you do that?
You expect people to disappoint you, to belittle you, to never reach up to your expectations and they never do. As with all idealizations they are unattainable and unrealistic. And so the cycle begins. The idealizations are impossible, so everyone is doomed to fail. And what happens to you?
You live your life in skepticism, cynicism, and doubt.
I don’t think that’s a way to live.
I know these posts frequently start off sad and end with: well this is the way life is, sometimes it sucks, you just gotta persevere and fight it.
It’s hard, but I feel like that is what I do say. Things suck. People disappoint you, they hurt you, they make you feel like you can never get up again. But you do. You pick yourself up and you move forwards.
I guess I am just saying, if it feels like people are constantly disappointing you, just take a moment to look at what you ‘see’.