I have a favorite stuffed animal. Yes still and I sleep with it every night I am at home. Still. Give it to me and I will curl up like a ball. Or a cat.
But I bought it at the San Diego zoo and it has quickly become my favorite. Recently I was confronted with the opportunity to buy another hippo. At first I thought, yay! I can have a spare hippo.
But then I realized something very crucial.
Even if I lost it and had my back up hippo, it would never be that first hippo. It would never be Hippy. All it would be is the backup to a memory, something that could never quite compare, didn’t have the trials that this one has. It would never be my hippy.
I spend so much time stock piling things like makeup and what not, just so I have a back up, always. In case something goes wrong. And things go wrong.
But as I grow older, I have started to ask myself, so what? If I lose it, buy another, get to try another.
So for makeup and what not, less is lost and I am learning to just appreciate what I have for now.
I have started trying to sweat the small stuff less.
If I lose it I can try another and I can see the silver lining, although generally I usually tend to get stuck in the sadness and mourning period.
But for the hippo, I realized I will move on. I will try to find a new thing. I will cry a bunch and be super sad, but since nothing will ever compare, why try? I can go on a lovely search for another special animal that I can make memories with, those that are special and unique to that one.
It’s not fair to have the second hippo and expect it to live up to that gone dream and image of the first hippo. It can never be what that was. So it’s not fair to hold it up to that standard it will never reach.
Suffice it to say, I did not buy that second hippo. And, while I hope nothing happens to Hippy, if it does, I will not have a backup.
And that’s a bit like life isn’t it?