There are certain people or certain situations where I wonder, what if.
I think it’s a natural tendency to look at your life with curiosity and wonder how things would be different if a situation changed or actions with a person were changed. How might things have changed? Would the life now be the same?
Of course not. Every small individual action that happens changes the life we lead, maybe in small imperceptible differences, but in some way none the less.
It’s sort of a fun thought experiment to wonder what would have happened, but it’s important not to get lost in it. I can’t go back and change what happened, so while it is a rainy day dream, it can never be more than that. Even trying to recreate it or finally say things you wish you had won’t bring you back to that moment.
That moment is something that will never come back. We can never recapture it or relive in, not in the same way as we do when we live the moment. With the benefit of hindsight we could all be different, maybe better or worse people, but we only have the benefit of hindsight after the moment is over. A realization like this forces us to live in the moment, knowing we can never repeat it or recapture it. We must live knowing that our actions and words can never be deleted or changed, not like on the internet. We must live knowing to savor the moment when it’s precious, even if we could go back, knowing it would never be the same. It forces us to be in the present, completely, and ultimately, because anything else is a dream.