When I feel guilty, especially in arguments, I tend to blame other people, usually the other person. It seems to be a default of mine. I know it’s the easy road out and it doesn’t actually solve anything. But I do it. I’m human. I hate that I do, and I’m trying not to, but I do.
I don’t want to.
It’s easy to say that, but I think, in general, I need to get better about accepting my own mistakes. People make them, I do all the time and I need to get better about accepting mine and other people’s.
This is a pretty big thing to ask and to do, but who really benefits from blame? I don’t feel better when I blame someone, especially if it’s because I feel guilty. And even if I did, what does that do? Does it solve the problem? I can’t think of a time when blame has been productive. There’s a difference to accepting and acknowledging mistakes, I think that’s a smart thing to do, but blaming, I don’t think so.
It’s pretty hard because a lot of time we blame others because we can’t face something in ourselves, or our own mistakes.
I’m especially bad at this. I hate making mistakes and when I do, it makes me upset and I hate to acknowledge them. But, as one of my high school professors taught me, it’s a learning experience. They are, but oh boy do I hate to have them.
But I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past and some that have lead me to be the person I am today and I must pay homage to that. Who knows, I can look back to one day to these and think, if I hadn’t made that mistake then [insert something positive].
So from now on all I can say is I’ll try.
That all I can ever do really.