I was reading an article earlier this month about chronically unhappy people, and it made me stop and think for a second about my own life.
The numbers that resonate with me is 2, 3, 5, and 6, which of a list of seven is over half….I feel a bit worried about that.
I do find it difficult to completely trust people. I feel that sometimes I operate with the assumption I won’t be able to count on someone in life. I feel that is close enough to not trusting, I feel a lot that i need to be self reliant and do things myself…which creates a self fulfilling prophecy. Since I don’t rely on people because I think they will disappoint me, when I try, they usually end up (since the standards are quite impossible) which reinforces my belief about counting on people. At least I’m aware of it, that should count for something right?
I do feel I look at what’s wrong instead of what’s right…I’m not sure what to do about this one. There’s a lot of bad and in my studies and hobbies I’ve had to focus on a lot of that. But there are moments of laughter, and I guess I need to get better at basking in that moment and concentrating on it.
I do strive to control my life…a lot. Really no idea what to do with this.
I do consider my future with worry and fear, mostly because I don’t know what I’m doing with it. I know some people feel that’s the fun and what not, but it doesn’t feel fun most of the time. Maybe this one and the previous one are related!
So do I feel I am chronically unhappy? Yes. That’s super sad, but I think I do spend a lot of my time sad or unhappy or angry. I recognize that’s a problem. I would like to change that this year.
And what’s amazing, is that I’m together with someone is such a chronically happy person. Yeah they have their ups and downs, but they are so upbeat, funny, and positive. Nothing bad really gets them down, they’re positive, patient and tender. I’m really lucky they put up with such a grump like me. I’m really lucky I have someone to help support me.
The first step to change is acceptance right?