Last week I had to find a new phone. Well I didn’t have to find one, but my old one was not only living on borrowed time, but also a ticking time bomb (one dressed as a cute cat, but a ticking one nonetheless).
It was really hard to find one, not because of the choices, there are choices abound, but because of the actual choices. There are so many different models of phones and it’s so difficult to choose. The performance versus the specifications versus the size. It’s so hard, plus the system here is different from what I’m used to where I only have a limited choices. Now I have any choices, bound by money of course, but could pick any. There are a lot of different reasons for this, and I ultimately like it.
Despite the amount of choices I have, there was also the nature of the choice. I have always had my parents to double check me and to bounce ideas off, now it’s completely different. They can advise me, but it’s ultimately my choice and my wallet that feels the brunt (first).
So there’s a finality and fear. There’s a finality when I swipe, or in this case stick, my card into the machine, but also a fear throughout the whole process. There’s a fear of picking the wrong phone, of doing something wrong, or dropping it, and of disappointing my parents with my choices. After I bought the phone, it wasn’t an instant sense of relief, but apprehension and a little fear. Fear I made the wrong choice, fear I did something wrong.
And so I guess the most difficult part wasn’t even finding the choice, but the pressure to find the right choice. But the fear and feelings I had associated with the choices, I realized, are just fears with choices in general. There will always be, at least, a small part of fear and apprehension and also finality.
That’s just the nature of choices and there’s really no other choice but to live with it…oh and live with the choices I have made.