I used to think it was a good idea to pour myself into people, how else would they know I cared? I thought that was how you knew people cared, and, because I felt few did it for me, I thought not many truly ‘cared’.
But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. Everything in moderation. But even more so, if you pour yourself into someone else, other people, who are you?
You need to retain yourself, acknowledge your own limits and sometimes say no. I know, so crazy right? But it took me a long time, and still takes me too long, to say no, to say I can’t, to turn something, someone down. I used to think it was selfish, but it’s not. It’s acknowledging that you have limits, that you need time, that you can’t be everywhere and do everything.
I don’t want to be a cup with holes, I will always be thirsty if I drink from it.
And to be your very best with everyone, you can’t give yourself away. It’s hard and I think it’s something that is very much gendered for women.
Relationships shouldn’t be black holes. They shouldn’t pull you in and consume you. You can walk away, you can say no, you can take a break, you can even just take alone time for yourself. Everyone needs to recharge, it’s healthy and necessary. Running always just runs yourself down.
I think this is the thing I’ve learned the most over my life till now. A lot of things have changed this year and in my life. But this point always comes back to me.
I don’t have infinite time, nor infinite hands, if I try to juggle everything, more things will just fall down.