I was thinking recently about betrayal because of a novel I read. It’s a pretty long description, so I’ll jut state what you need to know.
There’s a bunch of kids, teens, in an experiment to save the post-apocalyptic world. Because of this, there are lots of variables and you can’t really trust what you experience.
One of the main actions in this novel is to make the main protagonist feel betrayed by the one he loves. It ends up just being something they had to do, although can we really trust what everyone says? It was to save his life, but he can’t ever get rid of it. They never remain the same, and it effectively ends their relationship.
And it made me so sad.
Because for the readers, it’s reminiscent of that first betrayal we all felt. It hits us in our guts and makes us remember. Feeling like things were okay and then that stab that makes us forever changed.
It makes us wary, it damages us, it changes us. The scars of it are there forever and it seems to always cut the deepest.
Because it teaches us the world is dangerous, and people, especially those we know intimately through friendship or love, have the potential to hurt us the most. It reminds us that letting someone in, invites the danger in too. There is always the possibility of hurt. It teaches us that maybe we shouldn’t trust the world, and certainly not people.
The world becomes less shiny. People become less interesting, you become more guarded.
Of course only speaking from experience.
But it teaches us to be wary, we don’t walk around with innocent trust because we’re taught not to. And I don’t think we ever go back.
We just move forward the next day and try to live the best we can.
It hurts and it will for a long time, but there’s nothing else to do. Revenge doesn’t solve it and it’s impossible to go back. You can’t remain, and so you must go.
It remains a scar. It’s a crack in the way we see the world. But it’s something we all live with.