I never even used to know what science fiction was. As a kid I was really into fantasy, dragons, knights, everything. Feminist fantasy though, with strong women, but fantasy nonetheless. I wanted magic and I wanted the world to be more than it was.
In high school my ex-boyfriend was really into science fiction. I didn’t really pay attention to it, but I started picking up the books and I really enjoyed them. They speak about possibility, and expanding your horizons (literally!). But it wasn’t a place for me. He talked about sci-fi with his class mates (as I watched and waited from outside, also literally). That sphere was entirely male dominated and it wasn’t open to me. So was the comic book shop we went to or the other places where he would talk about it. He never asked to talk about it with me or anything. I even wrote my first and now second thesis about it.
It seemed no matter how interested, it wasn’t something I could talk about. So I didn’t, and still don’t (for the most part). A lot of people, the majority, I know aren’t interested on their own, or they fall into the category of people who are trying (maybe unconsciously?) to not let me in.
SO, my relationship with science fiction has read a lot like my introduction chapter into my thesis. But it’s not like that for everyone. There are lovely more open places, but I have never found them. I just recently found someone I had a conversation with about science fiction and it made me realize I’ve been missing someone to gush to, or to talk to. I just talk to myself, like a lot of my hobbies. I even actually talk to myself. This took a bit of a depressing turn.
Anyway, it just made me realize the relationship I have and the journey I’ve been on, and what I’ve been missing.