Month: February 2016

The mantra for day 5 was I am alive. This mantra came on a day that brought sad news, but keeping that in my mind made my mantra ever more important. The news made the importance of feeling alive and living life to the fullest ever more important. So I determined to bring that idea with me throughout my whole day, remaining present and appreciative. I was determined to try to see the light and the joy in being alive. Yoga is one of those things that calms me down, and makes me feel alive. My body is alive and moving. It has awakened my mind and body.

The mantra for day 6 was I feel supported. Day 6 was a more targeted workout for the abdominals. I work these every day in a short session after yoga, so it was relatively easy, but the mantra was still very important to me. I have a hard time with my neck with abdominal exercises, and it was nice to slow down and focus on supporting my neck. It is important to have good form and not to push anything.

I am very happy with how the yoga is going.

I was a very creative child. I love to dance, I kind of dance on the subway and people look at me and smile. Whenever I listen to music, images of dancers fill my mind and I cannot help but move. I used to love to write poetry and write.

Those are the ones that have stood out to me.

And oh, singing has been a part of my life. Which is essential.

So where did I go wrong? I think I grew up and thought that being grounded, reasonable, rational, and practical was important. Time was important and studying, moving towards having a good portfolio and resume was important. And those activities went on the wayside.

But I have been making a constant effort to go against this tide pushing the creativity away. I have written about coloring and I’ve delved back into watercolor (my favorite medium of art – and the use of salt still fills me with wonder and joy). I want to open up this part of my mind that people told me wasn’t practical and let it forth.

Because when I was being creative the whole attitude was different. Making mistakes was not only important but essential. Mistakes were what helped you learn. They weren’t the be all end all, they weren’t looked down upon. They were part of the process.

You’d make something that wasn’t great, definitely not perfect, and that was okay. It was part of a growing fluid evolution. And that’s what it was seen as, not a blemish.

So it’s more than the actual production of art via coloring, watercolor, clay, dance, and song. It’s more than the actual goal of work, it’s about the journey to get there, the learning process.

It’s the appreciation of the process of production.

And I could use some more appreciation.

The mantra for 3 and 4 was I embrace and I awaken.

As for day 3, I didn’t find much that connected with me, so that’s why this post is combined with day 4. I still really enjoyed day 3 because it was a satisfying yoga practice (much shorter than day 2), but the mantra didn’t necessarily impact me so much as day 4.

In a whole day 3’s mantra was meant to prioritize embracing oneself and where they are in the yoga practice. I thought this was a fantastic idea. It is difficult to relish the now instead of focusing on the future, but it didn’t connect with me as much as it did on day 4.

For day 4 I got a couple things out of it. There was an extension of the ideas in day 3 and a deeper awareness of my breath. One of the things she said today was to shift our mindset. What that related to was when we’re in a pose that doesn’t feel right, to listen to our body, and shift a little. Toxic thoughts of ‘I should be more flexible’ etc. are distracting and damaging. It is important to embrace where we are today, to not push further than we can, but to shift our mindset. Instead of saying, “I should be further today” to “Look how far I have come”. This is a small chunk of a larger shift of mindset that I want to realize. I want to look to different angles as far as my perspective on life. So not “I should have a job by now” but “Look at how many things I have accomplished I never thought I would and how much more I can do”.

It’s so simple to write it out, but it involves a choice every day to be more mindful, more kind, and more gentle to yourself.

The second thing in day 4 was the mantra: I awaken. She asked us what are we trying to awaken. At first my goal was to awaken my body, this was morning yoga and I had just woken up (one of my favorite times to do yoga is in the morning, although night yoga is so relaxing). But as the practice went forward, I realized I need to awaken my breath. I don’t breathe deeply. Not really. She has to remind me to breathe deeply, to inhale and exhale. I just normally hold my breath, so deep in concentration or focus. So my main goal was to awaken my breath.

But it’s something I want to bring into my daily life, to awaken my breath. To breathe deeply, slow down, relax, and breathe truly. To walk around and breathe in the air around me.

So many times, I’ve heard this saying. Sometimes it happens near the end of a meal, when I’m desperately trying to share the remainder of food left on the table. I hate throwing away food, and it always tastes better without being reheated – except for Chilli, that only gets better.

When I hear the saying much more frequently, is when someone is upset. You might as well have said “I’m fine”. The words are “I’m not hungry”, but I immediately know better. You are hungry, you’ve starved yourself all morning, you are just upset and really want to resolve conflict, but right now you aren’t willing to take another step in my direction, so it’s me that has to work on it. Okay so maybe I am usually right about you being hungry, even when you say you aren’t, but more importantly, why is it, that I don’t accept what you tell me? Why do I immediately think that your emotions are inhibiting you from making rational decisions? Why do I think that it’s typical for women to do this?

Well, I guess I associate it with the many times, that it looked like my assumptions were correct. So many times that women were told to calm down in my presence, by me, or someone else. Arguing is much quicker when you ignore the emotional part. Nothing comes out of screaming and exaggerating… or does it? Maybe you screaming that I shouldn’t assume things about you is right. Maybe I’m making the situation so much worse, by not believing you. When you say something and I decide you meant something else, doesn’t that force you to exaggerate what you were saying? Am I not the reason you can’t tell me what you mean? Maybe if I listened to what you are saying, instead of deciding what you meant, I wouldn’t consider you ‘emotional’ or ‘upset’ or ‘complaining’ – like it’s something you aren’t entitled to do.

You have every right to be talked to and with. Especially when you are upset, you don’t deserve to get asked to rephrase your objections, so that they are easier to digest. Easier to dilute with pointless arguments. Easier to ignore.