Month: November 2014

I have also been thinking about back up options.

What are they even? Are they the things you do when you don’t know what to do next? When you feel stagnant?

Are they the next best thing?

Because if they are, if they’re truly the back up plan when our dreams fail, how do you escape the shadow of the dreams?

I don’t have one really because I don’t have a dream in a sense.

Although one could say that teaching English is a back up plan, and it is. But is it? I guess I don’t really know what a back up plan is.

Could it be I’ve been so busy on a path getting what I want that I forgot throughout it to dream?

Maybe my dream is just to do what makes me happy.

I want to have a better sense of what I’m doing and being prepared if things fail, but I can’t also help thinking about what will happen.

Maybe not having a back up plan is being unprepared. Is it?

This weekend I did a couple of things.

On Friday I hosted a potluck and invite five new friends from the Masters program here. I think it went really well! We had so much extra food, and it went on for a couple hours. More people wanted to come, and, from what I can tell, everyone had a good time. I hope to do another one this month!

On Saturday we went to dinner with a friend at an Italian restaurant. One of my favorite places in Germany. It was fantastic food and it was nice company.

Then yesterday we went to a Kina Grannis concert! It was fabulous and we went to the preshow meet and greet. I got to hug her and take a photo with her and get her autograph! So that was pretty great. She’s so talented and it was so great to see her acoustic and live.

All in all, great weekend. And more to come!

I have never really though about what my dream was. I knew I wanted to pursue what makes me happy, and I have. I’ve studied literature, I like in Munich now. Some might say I’m living the dream.

But it wasn’t really a dream I had. It’s not like I spent nights awake thinking about it, dreaming about it when I was young. They were conscious choices to make to follow what made me happy.

In a sense, maybe that’s all you can ask of a dream.

But now that I’m here, I’m left with this idea, what is my dream?

What is my dream job, my dream house?

In some respects, maybe living in an idealized future isn’t the healthiest, but in another sense, having a goal, somewhere to go, seems like something I need.

I’m at a point in my life where I’m beginning to wonder, what’s next? What is the next decision I make to make myself happy, where will it take me and what will I be doing?

I’ve been thinking more and more and I don’t know if I want to teach. I could teach, but I don’t know if that’s something I want to do.

Getting here and doing what I’ve been doing would seem a waste if I ended up just doing something I could, not what makes me happy.

But what makes me happy?

Do I need to find my dream?

I admit everyone has down moments, times it’s hard to pick themselves up again. And I feel that. But what I’m talking about is consistent behavior where someone won’t take care of themselves.

It’s hard, because then you just are put into a role where you are taking care of them. I know everyone has limits and what not, and it’s important to give people time and space to change, but I’m just speaking from my own perspective.

And, as a disclaimer, I know I do things like this. I don’t speak up for myself enough, and I know that this, to others, will be exactly what bugs me. I am pretty human.

But what I’m upset about it is that it’s hard. And believe me the hypocrisy is not lost on myself.

But despite us all having those little things that we can’t change or get over, or habits we have, that bugs others, we all have that friend who can’t help themselves, who always complains about that one thing, and we all have that moment where we are frustrated.

It’s not about not loving someone, it’s not about hating them, it’s a very human feeling of frustration.

Whether that be, ‘I want my friend to see she’s not ugly, but is so astonishingly beautiful’ or ‘I want me friend to see themselves like I do’. We all think that at one point.

And it’s this reminder that we’re all human. Sometimes we can’t see what’s straight in front of our noses. We can’t see it, but everyone else can.

I’m not saying put yourselves in everyone’s shoes or take everyone’s judgement seriously, but I think it’s a worthwhile experience every once in a while to take a step back.

Last weekend I did a lot more than I usually do, and even more planned for this weekend!

Last weekend it was Halloween, on Thursday I had a date night and we made steak. It was delicious and nice to just reconnect. Since school has started, schedules are getting longer and more difficult to synchronize.

On Friday, we met up with a friend of a friend. It was really lovely to talk with fellow people who were experiencing a culture shock as well. Bonding over differences in culture.

On Saturday, I went to see Maze Runner. The film left something to be desired, but overall it was okay. There were some differences to the books, which I got through before the film to prepare myself that left me feeling a bit more dissatisfied with the movie. But overall it was nice to see the things in my head played out by real people.

On Sunday, I attended a Graham Waterhouse concert which was phenomenal. I rarely go to concerts, but I really enjoyed it. It made me super nostalgic about violin playing, and it made me want to see more!

I thought I would just do a general difference post for anyone who isn’t aware of how the education system seems to work here.

It varies a lot by subject and school, but at least for me here the differences are as follows.

There aren’t many assignments throughout the semester which contribute to your final grade. Instead there is just one assessment that consists of your whole grade.

The grading here isn’t A-F, but 1-5 with 1 being the best and 5 being the worst. Additionally it doesn’t go 1.1,1.2, but it goes in different multiples. For example, 1.0, 1.3.

Instead of meeting 2/3 times a week, we meet just once a week for a technical 2 hours, but a observed hour and a half. Many courses have a start 15 minutes late and end 15 minutes early rule. Only two of my courses here, out of 6, follow a strict adherence to the time posted in the course listing.

For some courses, attendance isn’t monitored at all, whether through a sign in, or TA’s that track it. I have a lecture which is full to capacity and there’s no way or tracking who is there or not.

The students are usually referred to by their last names, not first. This differs by the teacher with 2 courses of mine that follow this procedure.

These are just some details about the differences I have encountered at the university level.