I have recently realized a technique I have employed in my life to deal with my fear of disappointment and rejection (don’t we all have some of that?). Well I am so scared of these that I talk myself out of wanting it, I convince myself I don’t want it. I am so good at it, I don’t even usually realize I’m doing, except now since I’m more aware I do.
I convince myself, I didn’t want this, or I didn’t want this opportunity. It’s a coping mechanism to get myself out of situations where I would be disappointed. I don’t want the fancy dress for prom I am happy with the one I found. Things like that. I don’t have regrets or things I wish I would have done. But now I’ve started to know more about this.
It is tricky because I wanted to start thinking about what I do want for my life, in terms of career, place to live, etc. And then I go and realize that even things I’ve thought I have wanted, I didn’t really, I just talked myself into doing it. So pretty bad place to start in terms of trying to figure out what I do want.
What do I do about it? I am not sure, well for starters I shouldn’t do it anymore. I need to be be braver, to try and challenge. I need to look the fear in the eye and do it anyway, to strive towards a goal. It’s important to have desires and ambitions. I want to achieve things, not only things, but things I want. I need to grow up and realize that things I have thought about my life is actually wrong. The opposite of success is not failure and there are many paths to success.
Rejection is not failure, it’s a part of life and it’s actually part of the success process.
Great realization!!!! Great place to start..with awareness and looking for clarity that can be easily tricked by protective mechanisms in the mind…so now you are watching, ready to comfort that scared part, and reassure that part that you will look after it tenderly. I think it’s very hard to know what one really wants. It can even be scary to get what you want!
It’s okay to succeed (besides being okay to have things not work as as one thought)…it’s okay to change one’s mind in the middle of going after what one thought they wanted…it’s all okay…we’re all just trying to figure it out!
Always know those who love you most are always there no matter what…
I even think it’s okay to know what you want, even if you can’t get it…there is so much compromise in life, or so much we can do nothing about, but at least you know what you would like, and can head in that direction, if at all possible…
Keep going! I think this must be where the expression “Dare to Dream” comes from…it is a dare, a challenge, scary, but also all right, as putting an intention into the world changes everything around you…
Love you!
P.S. I dared a small, gigantically scary dream of you 25 years ago, and look…you came! the fragile, red-thread connection to my heart was found half way around the world…beyond my understanding that one could be blessed so greatly, so completely, so fully…with so much love…